32 weeks and 10 months

Yesterday was my 32 week mark with this pregnancy. That is how far along I was with Zach when we found out his heart was no longer beating. My 32 week mark with this pregnancy just happened to be on the 10th of March which was Zach's 10 month mark as well. A few days before 32 weeks I started to get pretty nervous about things. The last time I remember feeling Zach move was Friday night and I was 32 weeks on Sunday (with Zach). So, Tuesday (2 days before 32 weeks) I started to get really nervous. I was really aware of the movements of this baby and it seemed like he wasn't moving quite as much as usual. I think that was just my own brain making me nervous because he has been really active the past few days. I made it through Tuesday and when I still felt him moving on Wednesday, I felt a sense of accomplishment. Now I am past 32 weeks and in "uncharted" territory as far as the pregnancy goes. I still get nervous that something could happen. Just yesterday I read a story about a little boy who was 4 months and when the mom went to check on him he was no longer breathing. I know that things can happen at any time. If I really stop and think about it I would live in constant fear every day. I guess that is why we need to live each day the best we can and enjoy every moment we have with our family. You never know when it might be your last time to rock your crying baby to sleep. We need to put our faith in Heavenly Father and know that He has a plan for each of us. The timing may be different from what we want it to be, but we must keep an eternal perspective. I go to the doctor again today and it will be comforting to see this little guy again and ensure he is growing properly. Maybe later today I will post a picture of my big belly. I was at Walmart a couple days ago and this lady saw me and said, "Wow, you are about to pop." That was all she said and then went on her way. I wasn't quite sure what to say to that. "Thank you" or "I know". Some people just surprise me with the things they say. Thank you to those of you that called and texted over the past few days! It means so much to know how aware others are of my little family.

I have been thinking about this moment A LOT over the past few days. This was the 1st time I saw Zach. Not the moment most women dream of. Oh how I miss this sweet little boy.