Father's Day

I thought today was going to be hard. Really hard! However, it has actually been quite a nice day for both Tagg and myself. I still cried in church and Tagg and I both got a little sad looking at the other kids in church today knowing that Zach wasn't with us on Tagg's special day, but what better place could he be? He is spending the day with our Ultimate and most loving Father. A Father that I am trying to be more like.
I first want to let everyone know how grateful I am for Tagg. He is amazing. I think anyone who was at the hospital when I had Zach saw how much Tagg loves me and our sweet little boy. He almost never left my side, and what a comfort that was to me! It is hard for me to put into words how amazing it was to watch Tagg as a father. I watched him hold, love, hug, kiss, and talk to Zach. It was such a sacred experience to see his love for his son. It was truly a confirmation to me that I picked the right guy. Or that he picked me I guess you could say. Tagg is such a loving and caring father and even though he didn't get to do the "Dad things" today, I can't wait for the time when he does! I have been told often how lucky I am to have Tagg and how he is such a great support to me. That is SO true. Tagg said today that one thing that made today easier is that people have acknowledged that he is a dad. Some people act like nothing has happened and some people never mention Zach, but some people do and for them we are SO grateful! Tagg is a dad and I am a mom. It is hard to remember that sometimes and feel like that because we don't get to do the mom and dad things right now, but we still have a child. An angel baby that not many are blessed with. I am the luckiest girl in the world to have a husband that loves me like he does. He his patient, kind, funny, and so spiritually far ahead of me. He is much more eternally minded than I am, and once again, for that I am grateful.








Second of all, I want to say how grateful I am for my own Dad. He is such a supportive Dad. He (and my mom as well) will do anything for me! And I mean anything. He is such a great example to me of love and sacrifice. He works so hard all the time to give my family the things we need. He is so fun to be around and he always gives such great counsel and advice. He is a spiritual giant and he has such a tender heart. I am lucky to have such a great dad and I know Heavenly Father must have thought I was pretty special to give me to him. I love you Dad!




Last of all I want to say a few things about our Heavenly Father. He loves us so much. I can't even comprehend that kind of love. I think of how much I love Zach and how much our parents love Tagg and myself, and I think we still can't comprehend the love He has for each one of us. Tagg (remember I said he was more spiritually minded than myself) was teaching the Elders Quorum lesson today about the Atonement. He was telling me how the Atonement shows us just how much our Father loves us. Losing a son is so hard and we would never have chosen the trial for us or for anyone else. We would not choose to go through it again and we pray we never have to lose another child. However, our Father loved us so much that He chose to lose His Son. His most precious and perfect Son. He chose to watch His Son suffer the most excruciating pain and anguish that is unimaginable to our minds. He chose to remove his spirit from Christ in His darkest hour. He chose all of those things (and I am sure He would do it again) for us. He loved us so much that He watched His Son suffer. He watched His son give His life so that we could get back to Him. I was thinking about that today and I was thinking about how our ultimate goal is to become more like Him and return to Him. We sang two hymns today that really touched me. The first was "How Great Thou Art." The last two verses are incredible.

And when I think, that God, His Son not sparing;
Sent Him to die, I scarce can take it in;
That on the Cross, my burden gladly bearing,
He bled and died to take away my sin.

Chorus:
Then sings my soul, My Saviour God, to Thee,
How great Thou art, How great Thou art.
Then sings my soul, My Saviour God, to Thee,
How great Thou art, How great Thou art!

When Christ shall come, with shout of acclamation,
And take me home, what joy shall fill my heart.
Then I shall bow, in humble adoration,
And then proclaim: "My God, how great Thou art!"
Chorus again.

The first verse I posted describes what love Heavenly Father has for us. As it says, He sent His Son to die. That was His whole purpose, even though our Father knew it would be excruciatingly hard for Him and the Savior. The second verse I posted is exactly how I will feel when I go back to heaven and see my Father and the Savior and Zach again one day. True joy.

The second hymn that really struck me is the hymn "With Humble Heart." I have copied the 2nd-4th verses below.

2. Help me remember, I implore,
Thou gav’st thy life on Calvary,
That I might live forevermore
And grow, dear Lord, to be like thee.

3. To be like thee! I lift my eyes
From earth below toward heav’n above,
That I may learn from vaulted skies
How I my worthiness can prove.

4. As I walk daily here on earth,
Give me thy Spirit as I seek
A change of heart, another birth,
And grow, dear Lord, to be like thee.

I will try to explain how this hymn touched me, but I don't know if my words will be adequate. The purpose of this life is to be like our Lord. I love how the 3rd verse says to be like Him we must lift our eyes towards heaven. I feel like my eyes the past 6 weeks have been continuously lifted toward heaven. I really do feel like through this trial we have been asked to bare, we are proving our worthiness to be with our Father again. I ask every day for Heavenly Father to give me His spirit for comfort, strength, and support. I have had His Spirit with me more in the past 6 weeks than I have in my entire life. Through all of this I am hopefully becoming a little more like our Father and Savior every day. I pray that I am anyway. I am so grateful that our Father loves us so much to send His Son to die for us. I am grateful that he allows us to suffer even if it is in ways we wouldn't have chosen for ourselves. The good thing about the trials God chooses to put before us is that he is "obligated" to help us through them. That is not the best word to use, but he stands willing and ready to carry us through them. However, the trials we bring on ourselves, while he is willing to help, I think we have to work a lot harder for that help.

I am grateful for a Dad, Father-in-law, brother, brothers-in-law, grandpas and most importantly a wonderful husband or being such great examples to me. I love them all! Happy Father's Day.