Does it seem like everyone you know is pregnant or just had a baby? It does to me. Everyday when I get on facebook I keep scrolling down my news feed to see who else is announcing their pregnancy or posting new baby pictures. Don't get me wrong, I'm happy for all of these people (especially those of you that are reading this blog), a little jealous, but still happy.
I try not to look at it as salt in the wound, but to be honest, sometimes I do. It's been hard with doctor bills starting to pile up and further testing that still needs to be done. (more on that in a minute) I want so badly to be pregnant again, and everyone else being pregnant is just a reminder to me that I'm not anymore and that it will be a little while before I can try again.
I still have times when I wonder why it's so easy for some people and so hard for others. People have said to me, "Well, at least you can get pregnant again." Which is so true and I am grateful for that. It's really easy for me to get pregnant, but what good does that do if I can't stay pregnant to get that baby here.
Which leads me to my next point. As much as I wish I was one of those people that pregnancy is easy for, I'm not. And because of this, I'm trying to get answers. I went to a reproductive endocrinologist last week and he has a list of things they are going to test for. He says things are definitely not normal so he doesn't want me to get pregnant until they've done all the testing, have the answers, and have a plan in place. I just went in today for most of the testing. They drew about 12 viles of blood for different blood clotting tests and genetic testing. I've had all the blood clot testing before but since it was done in Utah over 2 years ago we thought it would be good to do it all over again so I can have a fresh start and all my doctors here can be on the same page with the same results. I don't think having 3 different doctors in 2 different states has helped me get answers to what is wrong. With every doctor there's been a different outcome. Tagg also has to go in for genetic testing and then after my 2nd period I have to have a saline sonogram to see if there is anything irregular with my uterus.
So, for those of you that wanted to know what my doctors are doing, now you know. At this point it really is just a waiting game and I wish it would go a little faster. Hopefully they'll find something and hopefully, whatever they find is an easy fix.
Sorry this post has no pictures but I'll post an update about Beckett in the next few days and that's guaranteed to be an awesome post!
8 comments:
What's the name of the RE you went to? I've been seeing Dr. Anil Pinto. He has offices in downtown Dallas, Grapevine, Mckinney, and Rockwall. I had to have the saline test last month and it was no big deal. Took less than 2 minutes and I had just mild cramping after. Good luck with everything. We're praying that the tests come back with enough information for you to move forward sooner rather than later!
I'm sorry for how much and how often it must hurt going through all of this. I can't even tell you how much I learn from your example. Keep keepin' on. I love you.
I'm so sorry you have to go through this but I'm so glad your doctors are determined to find some answers for you. I truly hope and pray that they can find some answers soon. Hopefully once they do, you won't have to go through this particular trial again. I know that we're far away but if there's ever anything we can do for you guys, let us know. Can't wait to see more pictures of Beckett. That video of him singing was to die for. He has the cutest little voice.
I know how you feel. I've had tons of testing, also had the saline sonogram, and tons of blood taken and still no baby in my house. And all of my friends really are pregnant or have new babies. It's a lonely feeling. And the testing process is a difficult one. I will pray your doctors will find answers for you. You have been such a help to me through this trial of losing baby David, but I am very familiar with the world of testing so please let me know if you ever need anything or just want to vent frustrations. Some days can get long and hard. Hopefully everything goes well.
Thanks for posting this, Katie. I wonder all the time if it will be difficult for me to get pregnant or stay pregnant as well. I had never thought about it until everything happened with Zach. It just wasn't something I ever fathomed (that I would ever have trouble). I hope you don't take this the wrong way, but I'm glad I know someone who this has happened to. Everything you've been through has opened my eyes to the miracle of life, and I thank you for that. I also know that if, God forbid, I ever go through any of this, I know you would be a wonderful source of support. You are doing amazing things for people, you and Tagg both! Not everyone has the guts to lay it all out there for people to read. But you do, and you're not afraid to. That's very admirable, and I hope you think so as well!
We are praying for you and hoping that you find answers. That has got to be the most frustrating part! I hope that you can get pregnant soon. Thanks for the update and keep posting updates! I am always thinking about you. :)
Mag I am glad to hear about these tests and things. That may seem like a weird thing to say but I am hopeful that they will find something and figure it out! I am sorry that you have to go through all of this but I think you are doing such a phenomenal job of staying positive and looking at the glass half full. We keep praying for you guys and I know so many other people are too. Love you!
Katie, I hope you don't mind a total stranger commenting here, but Tagg and I grew up in the same ward and I was so sad to hear of your loss when he posted on Facebook--your family has been in our prayers ever since. I've been following your blog here (it's been especially helpful for me to read your upbeat words as I'm going through a rocky pregnancy where I'm just waiting for the next test to find out what's happening) and I really admire your faith and your optimism through these trials. I was really touched by something you wrote in another post about how the Lord is using these trials to help reveal his image in your countenance. I really needed to hear that today--thank you for sharing so much of yourself. I wish you the best in this testing process & I hope you are able to get some answers soon!!
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